Maybe you know this: After a long day, you and your partner have finally reached the point where you can leave everyday life behind you for a moment. You're getting closer - maybe you've even made it a little romantic with candlelight and music (or whatever gets you in the mood). Everything feels good, garnished with that anticipatory tingle. And with a mischievous look, you could now completely transition into the hot part of the evening ... if it weren't for that pesky interruption of putting on the condom...
Condoms are generally considered to be a lust killer. Also and especially in relationships, where the worry of infection has settled at some point and only the contraception plays a role. So why not just do it without them to make sex more pleasant? It's simple: because there are often good reasons for condoms that you should definitely have on your radar. And sex with condoms can be just as great if you do it right.
Of course, it is usually easier and nicer without a condom if there is no reason to use any. But in many situations condoms are really useful and the best alternative. For example, in the following four cases:
If you want to avoid hormonal contraceptives
If she takes the pill or another hormonal contraceptive, you don't need condoms, of course - unless you want to play it safe as well. But there are good reasons to avoid hormones completely when it comes to contraception. For many women, the pill sooner or later shows strong side effects and the desire for sex can also decrease sharply. In such cases, condoms are the perfect way to really enjoy the moments you spend together again. And they are the best way to really take responsibility as a team when it comes to contraception.
(By the way, this also works in conjunction with NFP. You can then leave the condoms aside, at least for a while.)
To protect against diseases
If you want to be on the safe side when it comes to diseases, condoms offer by far the best protection. This applies to many STDs, but also to bladder or prostate infections, so that you don't infect each other.
During anal sex
If you have sex through the back door, please do not forget the condom. Otherwise it can be quite unpleasant for the man if bacteria get into the urethra and lead to a bladder and/or prostate infection. So there is hardly a better reason for condoms also in the relationship.
If you don't want to "mess around"
Condoms have a huge advantage that is often forgotten: They make sex much "cleaner." So if you want to save the new sofa or the car seats, the best way is with a condom. Of course, this also applies if you suddenly get the urge for outdoor sex while you're out and about.
Why you shouldn't suddenly stop using condoms in your relationship
In relationships, it is often the case that we simply leave the condoms out at some point. After all, we know each other much better by now and the worry about diseases etc. is quickly off the table. But be careful: just because you trust each other doesn't automatically mean you're safe. That's why it's best to take a test together (e.g. HIV) to be sure. Then you both have a better feeling and can still decide whether you want to use condoms for other reasons or not.
Are condoms really a lust killer? Anyone who has ever had a bad experience with condoms will of course immediately say: Yes, definitely! But wait a minute: In most cases, it's not the condom itself that's the lust killer, it has just been made into a bogeyman, while the reasons actually lie elsewhere. The three biggest lust killers are in fact:
The condom does not fit.
If the condom is too small or too big, putting it on quickly feels like you have to get a thread through the eye of a needle with mittens on your hands. No wonder the urges and hot feelings are quickly over. That's why you should get condoms in the right size. The best way to do this is to measure beforehand and/or order the right trial package.
The wrong technique when putting on
Let's be honest: Who of us really learned how to put on a condom with the perfect technique in sex education classes? It's one of those things that we're just never taught properly. That's why it's perfectly normal if there's a bit of a hitch with your personal technique and the infamous "condom moment" becomes an annoying interruption. But don't worry: In our blog you'll find detailed instructions with cool tips. And with the right size, it's really quite easy and done in a few seconds.
Your head has stored the condom as a pleasure killer.
During sex, our head also plays a big role and negative thoughts can ruin the best moments. That's why it's important to decide for yourself if something is good or bad. Instead of seeing the condom as a pleasure killer, consider it as a tool that gives you a safe feeling. And with it, the possibility to fully let yourself go during sex. This way, putting on a condom becomes something beautiful that, if anything, increases your pleasure.
Once you have eliminated these three lust killers, the condom will quickly become a natural companion in your sex life. After a while, you'll probably hardly notice it - because the right condom fits perfectly and is hardly noticeable unless you're concentrating on it. And the little interruption will soon no longer feel like an interruption. But more like the moment when it's about to get even more intense ;-)
As you can see, condoms are not the pleasure killers they are often portrayed to be. On the contrary, they make sex even better and easier if you use them correctly. Therefore, simply see if and for what reasons you want to use condoms in your relationship. And then get it on!
You can go one step further: by making the putting on of the condom a common ritual. Celebrate the moment and use it to turn on each other. For example, by putting the condom on in a seductive way - maybe even with her mouth. You'll see: With a positive attitude, sex with condoms will be much more enjoyable in the future!